So along comes the first live action TEKKEN another beloved fighting franchise and guess what IT DOESN’T SUCK! The movie does effectively kick some ass with very good action that you can see very clearly, not that quick-cut, my lead can’t really fight bullshit. The way that director Dwight Little at least paid attention to characters represented in this movie is dope. All of the characters except maybe Jin look just like their videogame counterparts. Jin Kazama (Jon Foo), Byran Fury (Gary Daniels), Steve Fox (Luke Goss), Marshall Law (Cung Lee), Christie Montiero (Kelly Overton) hot as hell fellas she’s poured into her revealing costumes, Eddy Gordo (Lateef Crowder) and let’s not forget Heihachi (Cary-Hiroyuki Takagawa) as well as other characters have been represented well. The movies fighting was choreographed by Cyril Raffaelli one of the founders of parkour and star of both “District 13″ movies. The action is serviceable for the source material and is matched by the sets used in the movie which are not cheesy at all…money was definitely put into the production and it shows.

Now the acting….not bad but not great either but good enough to stomach for the films entirety. The “plot” follows the videogame storyline pretty closely, it’s the near future, the world has been turned into corporate entities instead of countries and the most powerful one is TEKKEN. Every year they hold a worldwide fighting competition that guarantees the winner escape from the “anvil” where all the poor people or everyone else lives in a totalitarian nightmare where regular “Jakk” patrols are the norm, Jakks being a kind of nazi robot police force. Out of this emerges Jin, a young scrapper whose mother taught him kung-fu his whole life. Jin’s mother is Jun Kazama and she happens to be a former TEKKEN fighter herself. Of course Jin wants to fight in TEKKEN but she forbids him to but tragedy strikes (of course) and he’s on his way. There are “plot” twists(but not really if you follow the games storyline) and the fights are dope. This is basically a “Bloodsport ” type movie which isn’t a bad thing, with the typical revenge storyline thrown in for good measure (I did say clichéd) There are different fighting styles going up against each other but done better than let’s say the “Undisputed” series…not by much. The movie is made for fans of the game and action junkies, these people will enjoy it, everyone else, wait for video. Don’t get me wrong this is hands down one of the best fighting game movie translations yet but that ain’t saying much. A must see for fans, just see it in the right frame of mind is all. Not the greatest but not too bad either. All in all  6.5

******½~~~ (6.5/10)

Smite All Cornballs

Sir M

How can you take 17 episodes of an animated series and squeeze it into one, 100 minute movie…you can’t. In an effort to “trim the fat” off of the story M. NIght manages to cut most of the meat off the steak, leaving  bone and gristle to chew on, well at least they were smart enough to douse it with a hefty serving of A1 sauce (the special effects).

At first glance the tone of the film may seem “darker” than the sometimes light hearted animation. That dark tone is only superficial since most of the performances are as flat and predictable as any you’ll see this summer.  The treatment of the characters was also disappointing; Aang was no longer a goofy wide eyed young boy, he is now a brooding, tortured soul trying to come to grips with the death of everyone and everything he knows. Instead of being the motherly voice of reason Katara seems  like an average girl who can throw water around with her mind. Nearly all of the characters are equally flat, no room for layers…this is the bad guy, this is the good guy, this is the wise old man…that’s really all you get.

Well that would be ok if the action was top notch but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong there are some awesome  sequences but for the most part you’re gonna be watching some kids doing some awkward  Tai-Chi, followed by a ball of water floating around. That’s very disappointing , one of the coolest things about the T.V. show was the very distinct martial arts styles developed for each element. Earth element was obviously based on Hung gar, while water was clearly based off of Tai Chi. What we get in the movie is mostly a bunch of non-martial artist flailing around pretending to do kung-fu. There are some exceptions; Aaang (Noah Ringer) who is actually a blackbelt in Taekwondo sells his sequences very well. Dev Patel (Prince Zuko ) also does a serviceable job of representing the fire element, not outstanding but better than most others in the film(He also serves up the best performance in general).

With all of the issues plaguing the film, it’s the movies fast pace that really does it in. This should be a martial arts, fantasy, action epic…this is something you can’t properly do in just over an hour and a half. The Book Of Water in itself could have been a trilogy, the viewer is simply not given enough time to come to grips with anything going on around them. Aang travels around the world, learns about his past, his destiny, starts a rebellion, learns water bending, gets captured, escapes and creates a tsunami all within 100 minutes of film. It’s like we go from point A to Z and skim through every other letter. Forget about developing characters or relationships( we’ll leave all that to clumsy expositions)…forget about learning of the world and its rules. Once this movie starts it’s like a bulldozer smashing everything in its path until the end, leaving no room for the series signature humor or wonder.

Rating: *****½~~~~ (5.5/10)

Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong

Pimp Hand

This movie is everything you’d expect from Woo Ping, including that extra little thing he puts in each movie that you’ve never quite seen before. The acting isgood, as are the direction, the cinematography, the locations, and yes, especially the kung fu. It goes from off-the-hook weapons fighting into intricate hand-to-hand, to elements of fantasy…and so on.

It stars Chiu Man Cheuk, who starred in the 4th and 5th installments of Tsui Hark’s “Once Upon A Time In China” series about the adventures of Wong Fei Hong, temporarily taking the reins from Jet Li, he was the main villain in the 1st Fong Sai Yuk movie, and if you havent seen “Mahjong Dragon” look for it, it’s great and he’s the star.  He’s a top notch martial artist, as well as a pretty damn good actor and I’m happy to see him leading in a picture of this scope and magnitude. I find him to be a more proficient Kung Fu practitioner than Jet Li, albeit by a slim margin, but Jet still has that hard to define star quality that one can’t deny. All that aside the movie is dope, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched it 4 or 5 times this week and I’m sure I’ll be watching it again…and again. Also look out UFC fighter Cung Le at the beginning as the tribal leader who fights Man Cheuk in the opening sequence, he’s also in the rather boring “Bodyguards and Assassins” vs. Donnie Yen in one the movies very few fights. He’s showing even more promise than I thought he would, I’m glad to see him in this. There are several great cameos in this movie including what I believe was David Carradine’s last onscreen role.

Its a revenge film, the tale of a fallen hero, and a Phoenix story all rolled into one, but wow, it’s kind of depressing. Come to think of it “Ip Man 2″ was rather bleak as well…  What’s up in HK right now? All these depressing Kung Fu movies coming out? Don’t get me wrong “True Legend” is  a great movie but man, you might need a hug after watching it. Apparently Beggar Su had it rough.

It’s my understanding that this movie will be in wide release this summer and it’s going to be in 3D. I’m loving this flik so I’m definitely going to support it, if for no other reason than just because if you’re going to see a Kung Fu movie in 3D shouldn’t it be a Yuen Woo Ping film? Yes, it should. That being said, let me take a moment to tell the movie industry something: 3D is cool some of the time, but not every movie needs it, it’s called variety people, look it up (it happens to be the name of the industry’s leading rag, yet its not an oft used concept in the movies it reports on. Irony? Maybe.)

There, I’m off my soap box.  See “True Legend”. I’m betting once this movie hits the public consciousness it will enter the books as one of the all time greats.

Rating: ********½~ (8.5/10)

Mentyl: The Evil Genius

Robert Downey is THE man, how he can play an arrogant, pithy, assholeish, sarcastic genius so well is scary. Mickey Rourke is very convincing as Ivan Vanko as well as the EXTREMELY hot Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Rominoff (aka Black Widow), she almost stole the show. Don Cheadle as James Rhodes “Rhodey” Toni’s best friend and the dope war machine is perfect. Oh and let’s not forget the always awesome Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury head of the super-secret organization S.H.I.E.L.D, not much screen time but more than you could expect. All these elements gel together very well and it makes for what is sure to be one of the summers biggest earners for sure.

This movie rocks ! Sure there are lulls but they fill in the gaps nicely. Jon foveae’s direction of such large scale movies continues to impress and he’s not a bad actor either. Better effects, interesting villain(s),great set pieces all entertain THOROUGHLY. Not a better summer movie yet and the way they are mimicking “The Ultimate’s”(you should pick these graphic novels up immediately, truly stunning all around) is REALLY getting me hyped for the Avengers movie.

The story for this “Iron Man” movie is this, Tony Stark has become even more of an ass since “outing” himself as Iron man, although he has helped world peace, the government still is wary of the technology and wants all info on the suit. Of course Stark refuses, since it is his sole property. Meanwhile the tech he used to save his life is slowly killing him. Enter Ivan Vanko, A poor, badass Russian genius who seeks revenge on behalf of his father who worked with Howard Starks (Tonys father) on the development of the tech Tony currently uses for Iron Man. Howard Starks saw this tech as a boon for humanity to progress, Ivan’s father only saw the incredible profit it could generate, so Howard set him up and had him deported. This makes it personal with Tony stark, driving Ivan to become Whiplash. A repulsor tech applied villain with two whips made of pure energy, look out Iron Man. The rest of the plot you have to see for yourself. We’re also introduced to Justin Hammer wonderfully played by Sam Rockwell (Choke, Charlie’s Angels)as Starks direct business competitor who just can’t get the tech right. Let’s not forget The Avengers initiative with Nick Fury.

With all these elements flying at you it still makes for a fun ride with just enough action for everyone, a DOPE summer movie for sure…stay past the credits for a peek at Marvels next super-hero movie. A definite must see and I’m not even a huge Iron Man fan so it must be hot. Marvel does it again. An 8 Sir M

Rating: ********~~ (8/10)

Smites All Cornballs

Sir M

Here’s a quote from Joey Ansah on why he decided to make a Street Fighter film.

“As an actor, film maker and a fan, I have been repeatedly disappointed by the many diluted, un faithful and outright butchered movie adaptations of fighting video games. It was clear to me, that given the way the movie industry worked, we would never see a super faithful, darker toned and more adult themed (or just plain good!) incarnation of Street fighter unless a die-hard fan director or film-making team with the game canon knowledge, film making know how and connections stepped up to the plate to helm such a project.”

I say this because to not inform the people properly is just sad. Now, we mentioned this movie last year. When it was still looking for a distributor, very early in the game. We mentioned it because this is a super cool, badass site that likes to keep you informed on slightly nerdy-but-hip shit before some other sites get wind of things.

This movie was groundbreaking because it was the first comic-book movie made in tandem (same time) as the comic was being written and drawn. It’s creators are legends in the comic book industry. One of my favorite writers, the sick ass Mark Millar who penned such hits as Ultimate X-men, The Ultimate’s, Civil war, The Authority, Wanted and others. His best work to me is when he was paired with the EXTREMELY dope artist Bryan Hitch and his co-creator for Kick Ass none other than the wildly talented John Romita Jr. (World War Hulk, Wolverine: Enemy of the state, The Punisher, The Amazing Spiderman, The Eternals, etc.) What these two giants did was create a hit comic that catered to hardcore fans as well as newbies.

The concept: What if someone tried to be a superhero FOR REAL. Surprisingly adult in content and shockingly realistic this violent tale ran 8 issues and turned the comic-book world on its ear. Fast forward a year later and now it’s an EXTREMELY entertaining movie, look out Iron Man.
(Spoiler alert) The movie for the most part mimics the source material almost spot-on. Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is an unnoticed high school student who is a comic book fan and not much else, he also narrates the story. Tired of his mundane existence he decides to become a real life super hero with an internet ordered costume and some police batons. His first outing ends disastrously, he gets beaten badly, stabbed and hospitalized. No sooner than he recovers than he’s back at it again. On the non-costume side, he acts like he’s gay to get next to the hottest chick in school. He keeps his and couple geeky friends all in the dark to his night time activities.

He goes out again, saves a guy from a near death beat-down, all being filmed by camera-phone to be posted on YouTube where “KICK ASS” as he calls himself becomes a worldwide sensation. He also finds out that there are two other costumed vigilantes calling themselves “Big Daddy”(Nicholas Cage) and the AWESOME “Hit GIRL”(Chloe Moretz-destined for super-stardom) who’s only ten years old and cusses like a sailor, and has moves like Tony Jaa, and shogun assassin combined. Nick Cage as Big daddy is perfect with his quirky Adam West -like delivery in costume and Brady dad attitude out of costume. Mark Strong (sounds like a porno star name) is cast as the main villain Frank D’amico mob boss and again a dope performance. This movie has it all, comedy, tragedy, balls to the wall action sequences and good acting all around. The movie has changed a few things from the comic…the tone is lighter, costumes slightly different, violence toned down some but all in all ONE OF THE GREATEST COMIC BOOK MOVIES EVER!

Eff what you heard this holds up to any of the gold standards of comic book movies i.e.; The Dark Knight, Iron Man, etc. I hope it becomes a franchise, I’ll stick with it as long as Mark Millar is involved. So even if you hate comics you’ll enjoy this movie, go see it NOW! A 9.5 Sir M

Rating: *********½ (9.5/10)

Smites All Cornballs

Sir M

That was 1983, it’s 2010 and of course Hollywood has remade “Clash of the Titans” and boy oh boy does this remake not suck AT ALL! The powers that be that green-lighted this project need a good pat on the back and to have the movie be released not long after the EXTREMELY dope God of War III is a masterstroke since both are basically the same story.

To fully enjoy this movie I saw the 3-d version(of course) and yes, right off the 3-d effects were good, not mind-glowingly awesome…but good. A very slight disappointment because after seeing like 8 3-d movies in the last year I was expecting a little bit more. Don’t get me wrong, the effects are awesome blowing past the original in every way(there’s even a small nod to the original with one of the characters making an appearance). I just thought they could’ve done a little more to make the audience “feel” the experience better but all in all sick special effects.

Now to the story(spoiler alert) in case you’re not familiar with Greek mythology I’m sorry, look it up. Zeus is the father of the gods and he has two brothers Poseidon and Hades. Zeus reigns over the heavens and earth, Poseidon the seas and Hades who was tricked by Zeus rules the underworld (hell). Mankind has grown tired of the gods and their infighting, with humanity in the middle paying the price, so loyalty and love for the gods is dwindling…slowly becoming hate. Zeus(Liam Neeson)reminds the gods how he created man and it’s their love that keeps them immortal but mankind needs a lesson in respect as Hades points out to the other gods. Hades tells Zeus “your immortality is powered by love, I live on their fear and they need to be taught a lesson in humility”. Much  to the other gods surprise Zeus agrees and so it begins. Zeus in one of his shall we say “moments” fathered a half-human, half-god demi-god named Persius who is raised by a human family he calls his own, until Hades kills them during a wrath, making Persius want revenge and so begins his perilous and epic journey.

Sam Worthington’s (Persius) agent is the shit, Terminator Salvation, Avatar and now this. He delivers a good performance along with the supporting cast, the two warrior brothers were my favorite. Louis Leterrier (Underworld 1 and 2,Live free or die hard) is one of the most underrated action film directors around and he delivers in spades. A dope ass popcorn movie that feels like a summer blockbuster even though it’s just April. Take the family to see this as it’s not gratuitous on any level and kids will love it, not too little though, it is intense. All in all an 8.5 go see this very good movie in 3-d,you won’t be disappointed. Sc-fi/fantasy film fans should love it…RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!

Rating: ********½~ (8.5/10)

Sir M

Smites all cornballs